Sloppy Seconds
by PyramidHead2012
Summary: Murdoc sits in a hotel room contemplating suicide and thinking about the shit he's gone through, when his band mates walk in. Dunno if it's better than it sounds but read if you want. TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL CHARACTER.


You could say Murdoc had been through the wringer. You could say he had a hard life. You could say a lot of thing and you'd still be far from the truth.

Murdoc sat on the bed in the hotel room he and his band mates had rented for the week, a bottle of rum on his right and some sleeping pills on the left. Which was better? Alcohol, or drugs? Drugs made him feel good, made him forget, while the alcohol only muddled things... But on the other hand, drugs were more costly to his system, not that he'd cared much for it to begin with... Of course... Which would kill him faster?

An overdose on pills was an easy way out while alcohol poisoning took too long and sounded painful. Sleeping pills would make him sleep then they would kill him. Maybe that was the better way to go.

His head was so full of thoughts. Suicide, drugs, sex, rum, and even childhood, which had been shitty except for the year he and his brother, Hannibal, actually got along. He'd been beaten, abused, insulted, and treated like shit, like he didn't matter to anyone. Even Hannibal, who had proven to be loving in the end, treated Murdoc like that.

Strangers on the street would look at him in disgust, like he was a monster. Children were scared of him too! Well, one wasn't. Noodle.

Noodle was originally an annoying thing to Murdoc, but as time went on, she became something like a daughter to him. She loved him like he was her father and expressed that every time she was around him. A hug, a kiss on the cheek. In time Murdoc began to return those shows of affection. He would ruffle her already messy hair, he'd kiss her forehead. He love her like any father loved their child. That's why when Noodle went missing, he'd practically gone insane.

Around 2D (after he'd kidnapped the singer of course) Murdoc was sarcastic, mean, and pretty much the same as 2D had remembered. But at night, behind closed doors, Murdoc would cry. He would break. He would punch the walls, scream curses into the room or to the outside world. He'd break things and pulls his own hair out.

Of course... He'd built Android Noodle...

There were days when he couldn't even remember that Android wasn't actually Noodle, just a mechanical replica that took it's orders from him.

His alcoholism had gotten worse and the pain in his heart did too. Then they found Noodle during the pirate attack on Plastic Beach. Murdoc had never been so happy in all his life. As soon as her little feet touched the ground, she found herself in Murdoc's tight embrace. He had been sobbing like a child that day, and all Noodle could do was hug back and tell him she was okay.

But his habits still hadn't let up. His anger got worse and his health did too. He grew thinner and more sickly looking, concerning his band mates.

Russel had insisted on getting help for the bassist and help they got. Murdoc was healthy again but his habits still remained. Constant bombardments of therapy weren't helping him, AA meetings made him feel worthless, and 2D wasn't helping by suggesting stupid and outlandish things like acupuncture. Murdoc just wanted the torment to end. He hated being alive, it hurt too much. The things his own family had done, hurt, The things he'd done to 2D and the others stung, the thought of losing Noodle was pure agony to him, and he just wanted it to end.

The world wouldn't miss him. No body even liked him. Not even the band would shed a single tears. They'd pretend to mourn then they'd go about whatever lives they'd lead while Murdoc sat in Hell, drinking rum with the Devil.

Yes... Pills were far more appealing. He'd die in his sleep and the band could at least say he hadn't suffered. Down the bottle, chuck the bottle, and lay down and go to sleep and never wake up again. Simple.

He picked up the bottle, popped off the lid... He was about to pour the pills into his mouth, when a shriek filled his ears, making him drop the bottle. Noodle stood in the doorway now, tears rushing down here face in waves. "Chichi!" she screamed, running over and hugging the man she now called 'Father'. "No! You'll not kill yourself! I won't let you!" Murdoc timidly hugged her back. Only then did he notice the other two.

2D looked ready to cry just as Noodle was and Russel looked worried and fearful.

They cared, Murdoc realized. They cared about him, loved him even. He looked down to the young woman in his arms, who clung to his shirt and sobbed into his chest. The pain he'd felt all these years, the agony, the burning... Subsided for the first time.

Russel sat next to Murdoc while 2D stood in front, shaking. "Mudz," Russel began, gently petting Murdoc's messy and damp hair. "Don't kill ya' self, man. Noodle would have a fit, 2D would be lost, and I'd be standing in the livin' room, sobbin', and tryin' ta pick up the pieces." Murdoc tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, but it wasn't working. His eyes began to sting as Noodle's thin arms made their way around his neck. His body shook as 2D hugged his arm, and his breathing was shaky as Russel wrapped them all up in a bear hug.

Then he cried. He hid his face in Noodle's shoulder as cried as his band, his friends... No, his family, hugged him, doing their best to show how much they cared. He cried until the tears dried up, leaving only the sounds of sobbing. No one moved from where they were, the simply lied down, hoping that would help Murdoc. Eventually, the bassist fell asleep, followed by Noodle, then 2D, and then Russel.

That night, Murdoc realized that the people he'd brought together as a band, had become his family, and they didn't care where'd he'd been, how many miles he'd traveled, or the fact that he was just someone else's sloppy seconds, they still loved him for how he was, and that wasn't going to change.


End file.
